Category Archives: General bitching

Query, query, quite contrary…

So, I have started the process of sending out query letters to literary agents. This is something like saying “I have started the process of passing a kidney stone without the benefit of modern medicine.” I expect it might take a long time and might not be the most enjoyable thing I could be doing.

Although I have only been doing this for short time, I have learned some things:

1. My first query letter sucked
2. My revised query letter still sucked
3. Most guides to writing query letters suck

Yesterday, I stumbled across a query letter writing blog that I think is fantastic:

The Query Shark blog is run by a literary agent who also helps aspiring authors by eviscerating their shitty query letters. Authors whose query letters are selected for evisceration then have the opportunity to submit revised query letters to be further eviscerated. Eventually, some get to the point where they are actually pretty good. In reading through the archive, I have learned some of the reasons why my previous queries sucked. Reading the entire archive is mandatory before submitting a letter to be chum for the Query Shark.

I was going to send out at least one query letter every day until I began reading this blog. Instead of sending a query letter today, I revised my query letter about 15 times. I’m not going to send it out again until I have finished reading the entire Query Shark archive and revised my query until it seems to meet the Query Shark standard. After that, I’m probably going to revise it some more.

Thank you, Query Shark. You rawk.

I am a terrible blogger.

How many times have I started a blog and let it slide away into oblivion, neglecting it for more “worthwhile” or “real” writing? I dunno. But plenty. I am certain that the carcasses of long-forgotten blogs are out there somewhere, lurking in the cyberspace of the interwebs, waiting to embarrass me someday when I least expect it.

I think my main problem is that I thought my blog needed a “theme” tying it all together, unlike my true life which seems to have the common theme of chaos and anarchy laced with OCD. I give up. Screw theme. This is me, and this is what I write. If you don’t like it, then just shine on, my friend. Shine on.